Could writing be an addiction? Am I an addict? Do words serve as a form of self-administered healing? If I don't get my daily writing fix will I suffer withdrawal symptoms? It's a fact that I write every day almost without fail. Writing is a non-negotiable part of my routine. Even when traveling, I write.
Usually, I have more than one project going on at the same time. Yet, in spite of that, I'm often sidetracked by an emotion, thought or idea that demands immediate written expression. Most of my poems are a result of that unexplainable phenomenon. Poems often appear on my computer screen like projectile vomiting — splat. It's almost as though I was a vessel for the written word rather than a creator of it. Those are intense as well as emotionally satisfying creative experiences.They serve as mental mini holidays or emotional purgings. They're highly beneficial to my state of mind.
Photo taken on holiday in Ireland
At other times, the writing process is exactly that — a story-telling process where I subjugate my mind to pay attention to every word produced. I edit nonstop for clarity. Will the reader understand what I was trying to convey? Are the words that I choose appropriate? Can I communicate my thoughts and ideas with even better words? Is the piece too long, too short, or too dense? Have I managed to paint a picture with my words? Are my characters believable? How best do I phrase things in order to hold my reader's attention? I constantly walk a line between giving the reader too much detail or being so stingy with words I fail to allure them into the world I've created in my head. For me, storytelling has always been about inviting my reader to cross that divide.
When writing nonfiction, I become dedicated to my readers in a different way. I strive to inform, to write from a place of either firsthand experience or well researched facts. I attempt to be honest and engaging. After all, I'm writing about a topic that I think might be of interest at the very least to a niche audience. I can become quite excited when sharing an area of expertise like traveling, living without debt or personal freedom. My nonfiction writing style tends to be conversational. I try to imagine a reader sitting across the table from me as we sip coffee while chatting. I strive not just to inform my readers but to inspire them.
The most surprising of all is that much of my writing has nothing to do with a reader. I've written countless words over the years that no eyes have ever seen nor were they intended to be seen. I happen to think that the compulsion to write whether I have a reader or not has sustained me. It's what has made me not only a writer but a prolific writer. As the words pile up around me, even though I find myself almost unable to manage my burgeoning collection, I still keep writing. When asked how I have managed to produce so much written material, I always answer with two words. I WRITE!
So back to my original question. Am I addicted to writing? Guilty as charged. I'm hopelessly addicted to writing. I literally can't imagine a day without writing. What do people do who don't write? That's the question I always want to ask. As I grow older, I realize that like the color of my hair or eyes, I didn't choose to be a writer. It's merely who I am. I was born this way. I'm grateful for that twist of genetic fate.
